immersion

new york

I discovered last night what must be a really common experience for filmmakers. It was the point where observation became immersion; it was when the camera became part of us, synonymous with us, interchangeable for us. Lauryn and I were shooting at the Bronx Pride Centre on 149th Street. We've been hanging out there for a while, meeting with the social workers there, trying to establish rapport. It has been an uphill battle to get these guys to trust us. Whatever red-tape they could throw, was thrown. At that moment, i felt doors really open. Suddenly, Lauryn and I were part of the furniture, and our presence was welcomed, suspicion about 'filmmakers' vanished. There was in that moment an invitation. That moment for me was when Carlton Rounds, the deputy director of the Center, launched into a busy frenzied speech about how crazy his day was to an empty room. The lesson was one I thought was impossible just a week ago: that we could be absorbed as just another feature of this busy workplace, and normalised inside it. All of a sudden, we were invited to come into offices for impromptu chats. All of a sudden, everyone seemed in on the game. Tyra, stopping us on the stairs to invite us to her performance tonight. Carlton, asking me to help him import contacts from Yahoo! to Gmail. Sean, high-fiving me on the way out. Demon, commenting on my shirt and thinking it cute. I guess those used to building communities like these social workers find it hard to fight that urge with distancing bureaucracy.

What was interesting at that moment was how we were suddenly in a very different ethical space. By the time we could question this on the 5 express back downtown, we'd already invited Demon the 20-year-old kid who has just got off the streets to a game of gay basketball, and I'd given my number to Richie (a college dance major) so he could invite me to his next dancing gig. What was genuine interest on our part might colour our subject eventually. But where do we strike the balance? Charm, interest, bonding over common issues, and placing ourselves somewhat nearer our subject has opened many doors so far. What happens if we make friends?